...Why...Do I feel like this?

Okay anyway, reggie brought back up the topic off me meeting him in real life! aw man i would so want too!...but...Seriously, What if he is some crazy 40 year old pervert who lives wif his mom? o_o.(hey wait a sec...isnt mike that? LOL AW MAN BURNED!) anyway........Well i've been really depressed...why?..Homeschooling, my mom is like "Krista im not letting u go to public school, I care about u having a good education than a social life"..-.- okay....WHAT THE HELL CAN I POSSIBLY DO WITH THAT EDUCATION!? WE ALL KNOW IM NOT...I CANT DO ANYTHING SPEICAL WITH MY LIFE!!!!! SHE CARES NOTHING ABOUT HOW I FEEL! BUT NO SHE THINKS IM BEING DRAMATIC AND MAKING EVERYTHING UP! GAH DAMNIT........Oh yeah! Like.....half my friends hate me now!! I DONT KNOW WHY! I FUCKING DID NOTHING!! THE ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE WHO LOVED ME! UNDERSTOOD ME! ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION TO WHAT I WAS SAYING! IS DEAD!...........Damnit i havent felt like this....in months...Shit i cry over every freakin insult i hear! I NORMALLY JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA THE PERSON WHO DISSED ME! BUT IM NOT AS STRONG AS I USED TO BE!!...Gah....is there at least 1 PERSON IN THE WORLD THAT WOULD LIKE TO BE THERE FOR ME?...Oh yeah, I have alot of best friends! But some of them arent people that can actually help a person!........Gah u know the main reason why I dont wanna stay in homeschool!!!! BECAUSE NEXT YEAR ALMOST EVERY FRIEND I MADE IS GOING TO HIGH-SCHOOL!...OR REAL SCHOOL!...And im stuck in homeschool!!! And yeah...almost all of them forget about me...This happends every year..I find a few friends that are homeschooled like me, They go to public school the next year...and its like they forget about me!! and tasha is freakin yapping her mouth about "aw krista i wish u went to my school, then me and you could talk more" or "Homeschool kids are freaks....u need to stray from it all" -.- oh enough about my pain! Its everyone elses that matters! im homeschooled! i should be happy! im away from the daily shit that life brings!!!!........WELL IM NOT! IM SAD AND MAD AS HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!........